After celebrating Bowie’s first birthday, I have been reflecting on when he was born, and trying to wrap my mind around how we have had him for over a year now. I have also had several people ask me to write about it, and I gladly will! IT was actually good way to process it and being able to remember all the details. I think I have been trying to hold on to each memory because Bowie is our last baby, and I want to remember everything that happened with both of my littles, but especially our birth stories. It’s interesting, but I remember his birth so well, but everything else about this year seems like a blur. That being mostly because I have been pretty sleep deprived. So much so that the one-time bowie slept in until 9:45 (so I did too), I felt more off with more sleep than I had with the lack of sleep, and I have some stories of my super sleep deprived moments (that post will be next). Anyways, back to the birth of baby Boaz.
Part of Bowie’s birth story is a bit intertwined with Arwen’s. I wanted to so desperately deliver Arwen Vaginally, but unfortunately due to some complications I had to have a semi-emergency c-section. I say semi-emergency because my wonderful doctor was sort of prepping me for a c-section without me being aware (like encouraging me to try an epidural to help calm Arwen’s heart, and within about half an hour, I was told we need to get her out). Because I had the epidural I wasn’t knocked out for her birth. I realize now I should write about hers as well soon.
Anyways, because of my previous complications, I talked to my doctor and in his opinion, I only had a 50% chance of delivering Bowie as a vbac without it ending in a c-section. This news was hard for me, and I fought back and forth if doing a c-section was the right thing. Only having a 50% chance of me not having another c-section seemed too risky for me and I had peace of going ahead and scheduling it for June 25th at 7am. I picked 7am because selfishly, I wanted to be able to eat sooner, but the joke was on me, because I wasn’t able to eat until the next day anyways, but I had a wonderful nurse sneaking me in crackers and broth…I’m getting ahead of myself.
From the moment we knew when we were set to have him, we started talking to Arwen, and preparing her the best could. We are so blessed to live in what we call our own commune. At the time only one of Arwen’s uncles lived in the complex behind ours (we can see each other‘s bedroom windows, close family), now we also have her other Uncle and Aunt living in our complex (our kitchen windows see each other‘s), and Arwen’s God parents also live right next to us. So, with that said, we knew if our plans were going to change, she had so many people (a whole lot more who don’t live by us), who would be there to step in. We arranged for Arwen to be with her Uncle Zach for what could be me in the hospital for 4 days.
When June 25th came, I was shocked that I lasted that long, because Bowie was low, and my hips were killing me for well over a month, but we had reached the day we would become a family of 4. My brother in law and Arwen dropped Chris and off at the hospital, and I had such a mix of emotions. I was so excited to meet this little boy, but sad to look at Arwen and know her world was about to change. Not that it would be bad, but change is hard. at 5am we were at the front of the hospital and I gave Arwen one more hug, and took 1 more picture of my baby bump, and we proceeded to labor and delivery. I got up that morning and put makeup on, and once we were in I was told to wipe it off, so I would say that was a waste of time, but I couldn’t sleep anyways, so it was a good distraction non the less. We went through the paperwork, got into my super attractive robe, and Chris looking good in the surgical scrubs, and we proceed to watch the world cup…not my thing, but it was sort of a distraction of me dwelling on the fact that I was about to get a needle in my back….I wasn’t worried about anything else but that. We waited and waited, and finally they came in and said, “We aren’t going to sugar coat this, but your doctor forgot about the surgery, so he will be in, in about a half an hour.” Part of why I LOVED my doctor was because he was super awkward, and we just felt like this was fitting, and funny this was going to be a part of our story. We laughed, and by then was done watching the world cup, and sat listing to Bowie’s heartbeat, and praying over us. I realized I was about to meet this little stranger, and I prayed for bonding. Arwen and I struggled, at first. We bonded of course, but feedings were hard, and I had postpartum depression, so all those thoughts were flooding my mind. FINALLY, my doctor came in, said he was ready to go (he looked pretty awake and was on point with his wit), so I didn’t feel like he just rolled out of bed and was about to slice me up, so away we went.
Once we got into the operation room, I was so nervous I was shaking. I was excited to hear that the needle they were using was a lot smaller than what they used last time, but the whole bend and hold your pillow over you was still a hard task given my belly was huge! I remember my legs getting heavy and laying there waiting for Chris to come in. I had opted to keep my nose ring in, but was advised to take it out, so that was a fun event to try to remove while shaking. Once Chris got in, they moved quickly. I could hear all the tools being used, and all the chatter, and I just keep thinking about Arwen getting to meet him, but first we needed to meet him! Chris had a mission with both of our kids. Since he would see them first, his task was as soon as they came out, to first confirm they were the gender that was told to us, so making sure they did or didn’t have they parts we expected. Did they have hair? and did they have toe thumbs? I have the same thumbs as Megan Fox, if you aren’t sure what that is, it’s pretty much like having big toes for thumbs. As Bowie was being ready to be taken out, my doctor told me that I would feel a lot of pressure, honestly, I felt so much relief! Bowie was being delivered at 39 weeks, and I was in so much pain for so long, so having him out was such a relief…literally physical relief. Finally, I heard the sweetest cry and I couldn’t stop crying, I am crying now thinking about it! I just laid there as the different doctors and nurses told me how beautiful he was, and I was so eager to meet him. Chris came back and reported everything back to me. He was indeed a he (so I didn’t have to return any clothes), he had a full head of strawberry blonde hair, and he did not have toe thumbs. Honestly either did Arwen but she is now developing them, so I guess it’s not a trait at birth type of thing. Chris then let me know he was 21’ and weighed 9 pounds 8 oz. At that moment I was so happy we didn’t wait any longer to have him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to walk!
With Arwen they quickly let me see her, but they had to take her quickly to be checked up on because they were nervous about her breathing. I didn’t get to even touch her. With Bowie the nurse laid him on me, and I got to touch his hair and I couldn’t stop crying, I said, “Hi baby” and he looked right at me. Chris was so sweet and let me know that he hadn’t opened his eyes until that moment when he heard me (Boaz, not Chris, Chris has been opening his eyes for many years now). That moment was one of the most special moments for me.
As they stitched me up and put all my organs back into place Chris went with our little guy to get checked up. Finally, I got to go in the recovery room and be with them. They let us know Bowies blood sugar was low and they need to give him something to help that and had to keep checking him. As we laid there, I was shaking so bad, but they put this awesome foil blanket on me, that blew hot air under it, and that helped me a lot faster than when I had Arwen. With Arwen I was shivering until the meds wore off and couldn’t even hold her because I felt like I was going to drop her. We prayed over Bowie, and Chris kept updating our many friends and family who were waiting to hear that Baby De Vesta was here! We hadn’t revealed his name yet, so Arwen was very excited and couldn’t wait to find that out. We wanted her to be the first to know the name, and it gave her something else to look forward too.
We were finally given the ok to go to my room, but they said they would need to keep monitoring Boaz throughout the night, because his blood sugar wasn’t were it should be, and because he was breathing a bit too hard. Luckily, he was still able to be in our room with us.
We got to our room, and after the elevator ride, I kept getting sick. Thank you to my husband and my wonderful sister in law Mia, who held my hair for me 😊
The first visitor was Arwen, she came in and we introduced her to Boaz Daniel De Vesta. She giggled, and wanted to hold him, but was over it pretty quickly and was ready to start her adventures with her Uncle Zach. Chris then walked her out with her sign that we had ready to go for months and let everyone know he had arrived and what his name was.
I was so blessed by all the love we received. After everyone left, it was just Chris, Boaz and I. I don’t want to fixate on the upsetting parts, so I am going try to make this part short (odd for me). But our night nurse ended up taking Bowie for over an hour to check him out, and when we called because we were confused as to why it was taking so long, she made comments like “I thought you would wonder where he was.” Fine if she needed him that long, but an update would have been nice. She then came in with him at 2am and tried to tell us she need to order x-rays and a whole bunch of lab work because she was nervous about his breathing. I am so thankful that she wanted to make sure our baby was safe, but the way she delivered her message was so confusing, that I thought she was telling me he may have some awful disease. I flat out asked her if she was telling me he had some disease, and her answer was not clear. She took him across the hall for x-rays and we let her know we were joining, so I grabbed by hand bag of urine (I had a catheter, and the bag looked like a handbag, so I rocked it) and we followed him. I sat in the room at 3am sobbing watching them prick his foot for about 20th time that day (about 40 times all together from when he came out to when we left), so much so that if anyone touched his feet for the first month of his life he sobbed. I sat there thinking my son was dying, all because of poor wording on our nurses‘ part. Luckily the doctor came in and just let us know he was taking longer than they wanted him to adjust to breathing, and his blood levels were a tiny bit off, but nothing to really worry about…. where was she that night? We told her all that we were told, and she was shocked as well. I am sure the nurse had great intentions, but it just was not the best night.
I was recovering really well, I walked the halls multiple times the first day, and the nurse (a new day one), was impressed with me. I was bragging about how well I was doing when my doctor came in to check on me, and he laughed and told me gave me some strong medicine that would last 36 hours, so by that night I would feel like trash…he was right, that’s what I get for boasting. After he checked on me, he stayed in the room and watched the world cup with us.
We then stayed 3 nights, even though I could leave at 2 nights, they still wanted to watch Bowie, and if they weren’t kicking me out, I wasn’t leaving without him.
I was so excited to leave, which was way different than with Arwen I stayed all 4 nights because I was so scared to be without the nurses.
The rest of the time after we got home is a blur. I forgot pictures with people who are very special to us who got to meet Boaz, we had meals for 3 weeks, which was such a blessing, and I got food poisoning (not from a meal that was given to us), besides that I don’t remember much else.
And now here we are, a year later. This boy has grown so quickly, he rolled over too soon, walked too fast, teethed to quickly, but I am so thankful for a healthy baby. It wouldn’t even matter when he reached each milestone, it still would feel too fast. When I am sad that time feels like it is at warp speed ahead, I just think of how happy I am, and I am looking forward to the next chapters of our lives and watching him grow. I am also thankful he was a pro eater, and I have been able to breastfeed him for a full year. I couldn’t do that with Arwen, and so this was an exciting achievement for me personally.
What a year.