Glitter In The Ashes Is On Social Media

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Happy Tuesday!!!

If you enjoy reading my blog and would like to see more, you can now follow me on Facebook and Instagram!  I mostly post on silly things Arwen says and does, me not blending in my makeup (not interesting really, but kind of amusing that it looks like my beard is growing in nicely).  Also, feel free to share my blog or social media accounts.

I would also like to hear from you!  Is there a topic you would like covered, or questions you may have? If so let me know what they are and I will try my best to cover them!

Thank you for all of your support.

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New Baby, New Outlook

wedding

There are so many amazing outlets out there that promote how being healthy is more important than being “skinny.” There is an Instagram account I follow called “Healthy is the New Skinny,” which actually helped inspire this post. I have been following this account for a few years, and I have always loved what it promoted, and in essence I knew it was true, but even reading all of the encouraging words, and posts about just being healthy it was still hard for me to believe that for myself.  After having my daughter I still was focusing more on the getting skinny part (which I was failing at), and not so much the healthy part.  I would try different fads to lose weight or anything that seemed like a quick fix to losing the pounds, and clearly it wasn’t working. When I got pregnant with my son, I was at the heaviest weight I had ever been, and I was so scared of how much weight I was going to pack on because I had gained over 40 pounds with my daughter.

I was pretty sick during the first trimester with my son, so I didn’t gain much weight at all, but once I felt better I wanted to eat everything in sight. I would eat salads and fruits and veggies, but when I had a craving, which was a lot of french fries and Hot fudge sundaes to dip the fries in, I went with it.  To be totally honest, this wasn’t a pregnancy craving, sundaes to dip my fries in have always been my go to, but being pregnant was my excuses to do it more.  I really wasn’t even focusing on how healthy I could be, especially with this little guy growing in me.

It was when I went in for an ultrasound and the technician asked me if I had gestational diabetes because my fluid was a bit high that my eyes were opened.  I let her know I hadn’t taken the test yet, and she gently encouraged me to push up my test ASAP.  That ultrasound changed my life.  I walked out of there and decided I was going to act as if I had gestational diabetes if I had it or not, which was pretty much just eating what was best for baby and I, mostly baby, and say no more than not when a craving for a whole chocolate cake came up.  I had so many friends encouraging me, and so many friends who told me they had gestational diabetes, and what they ate when they had it.  These were women who ate right and exercised and still had it, so I knew you could get it even if you were my size or a smaller size.  Even with having that knowledge I knew I wasn’t doing my best for myself and I wanted to do my very best.  With that I took the dreaded hour test, where you drink an awful sugary drink and give blood, and I failed.  I was told to come back in a week to take the 3 hour test.  That whole week I ate right and walked, and I felt so good, and I passed the test!  Being on the borderline of having gestational diabetes though scared me into sticking with my plan of eating right and continually walking.  Please don’t get me wrong, I still ate cake, but I actually never gave into my craving for fries and a sundae, I knew that would be a gate way for me.  Just writing that part, I am impressed with myself.  I really hope this isn’t coming off as a judgement to anyone, because that is not with this is intended to be, but for myself, I have struggled with eating right and not being able to say “no” to cake, fries, anything amazing and delicious. So for me, this was my wake up call of starting my journey of being healthy, and I don’t know if I would have taken it as serious if I didn’t have another life growing in me, so I am thankful for that motivation.

Boaz is now 2 months and Arwen is 5 years old. After my c-section I decided I wanted to get back into running which I had been into before my daughter. I made the mistake of texting one of my best friends Janiele saying I found a color run I wanted to do for my 35th birthday.  I was texting her with the idea, thinking we will say we will do it, but as time gets closer I won’t, but I liked the idea of it. My friend Janiele had and has been working so hard on getting healthy.  She was doing spin classes, and yoga, and I was proud of how healthy she was getting (and still is getting), and she truly motivated me to want to do the same, but again, I didn’t think we would actually do the run, I just wanted to look cool and suggest it.  I should have known I wouldn’t get away with that with my her.  She signed us up that day, and I realized I was locked in, and I for sure didn’t want to waste this opportunity, and I for sure didn’t want to look lame in front of my friend, so I knew I had to start training.  So 6 weeks after my c-section I started doing a couch to 5k program.

After my first pregnancy I was saddened by my changed body, even though it gave me the best gift.  This time I look at my body and see the extra skin, and the oddly shaped tummy I have, and I am not sad.  Yes, I have lost weight, mostly due to the fact that Boaz loves to eat (I’m breastfeeding), and the fact that most of the weight I gained while pregnant was him. Yes, it is nice to be losing the weight, since I was at an unhealthy weight, and still am, but it’s not the weight I am the most excited about.  It’s the fact that I feel healthier, and I am proud of myself for finally not taking a shortcut and realizing what is important.  It’s important for me not to fit in the skinny jeans (although not going to lie, it’s up there), but to be healthy for my kids, my husband, and myself. When I look in the mirror at my body, I can see a healthier person and I see the body that gifted me two babies.  This is a huge difference from after my first pregnancy, when I looked in the mirror  and thought horrible things about myself.  I was happy and blessed to have my daughter, but looking back I realize I was sad that I wasn’t taking care of myself on the inside and I knew I just wasn’t healthy.

This is a out of my comfort zone for me, but I am posting an image of me that my 5 year old took while I was in the dressing room in our 5th store trying to find something to fit my different shaped body for my sons dedication.  Going to multiple stores because nothing fit my body used to make me sad.  It would make me sad when I couldn’t find anything to wear, but now even though my body is way different then it ever was before I am not sad, a bit tired from taking two kids out of the car so many times, but not sad.  I’m not sad because I see a healthier person, and I am so proud to learn how to dress my new body.  Although running and working-out will help with losing weight, I am more excited to have the energy now to keep up with my little ones, especially since I am not sleeping much these days, so any tiny amount of energy is a gift.

Taken By Arwen (1)

 

 

Then There Were 4!

Hello Everyone!

It’s been awhile, months actually, and I have truly missed blogging.  A lot has changed since my last post. For one, my family of 3 is now proudly a family of 4! We had a fun surprise last October when I had a particularly off day, where I started arguing with my husband over something super silly, and felt super sick, which I chalked up to a bad burrito at first. I then decided to run to the store before church (what better time?), since things were seemingly similar to what had happened with my first pregnancy. I found out I was expecting in one classy way, in a Wal-Mart bathroom. Why at a Wal-Mart and not a Target you ask?  I have asked myself that very question, especially since Target is my happy place. You may also wonder why not wait until you got home? Well, that would have been ideal, but those who know me, know I don’t like to wait to find out the results of anything. I spoil movies and TV shows for my self constantly. So waiting wasn’t going to happen. With that fun little adventure, and a story I will embarrass my son with at every awkward opportunity given, here we are, now a family of 4!

Now, getting pregnant didn’t stop me from blogging, but this pregnancy was a lot harder than my first. It was partially hard because I had a little human who needed my attention, and along with morning sickness, I couldn’t keep up on everything I wanted to do, like blogging. So here we are. I am now back!

I want to announce that Boaz Daniel De Vesta (his nickname is Bowie), was born on June 25th, weighing  9 lbs. 8 oz. We are totally in love, and his big sister is starting to get used to him being around, which has been so great to watch.

I look forward to being back, and talking about how parenting 2 kids is going. I intend to be brutally honest with the happy times and the hardships of it all, but no matter how hard, it really has been a great adventure so far. I just wanted to explain my absence, and show off our almost 2 month old!

saturdaymarch 23, 20194_00 pm

Art and Pumpkins

What I was going for (1)

I love art. I love looking at it, I love creating it. I give the credit for my love of art to my Grandma. Because of her I went on and got my Graphic Design Degree, and also just found a passion for it. Not only did my grandma create things, but for any, and I mean ANY holiday, she would create things for the day.

For groundhogs day she painted a sweatshirt with a cute little groundhog peaking his head out of the ground. For Christmas she would paint shirts, sweatshirts to wear often, and, would a lot of times, add lights. When her or my mom had a cast, which was weirdly often, she would paint their casts with fun things. So much so I tried to break my arm several times just so I could have a fun cast. Sad twist of events, I got a cast 3 months after she passed away . . . anyways not the point, but bummer.

I have more recently discovered that I have that same passion. I have painted shirts for Arwen to wear, but so far nothing with a groundhog. This Fall I have wanted to paint a lot of decor for fall, while eating pumpkin everything, and it’s so much fun, and I wanted to get Arwen in on the fun. She also loves art, but she is four and projects last five minutes. I found the cutest pumpkin patch craft (featured in the picture), we sat down to do it, and of course, it didn’t turn out like the image.

I am not a perfectionist, but I did catch myself trying to direct the craft a bit more so it would be perfect. I am happy to say I caught myself very quickly and sang “Let It Go” in my head, or out-loud, it doesn’t matter. The point is to have fun and do things together, even if it isn’t Pintrest perfect. I adore that she loves art, and I want to make sure I can make it fun for her, just like my grandma did for me.

I am hanging it up, and it will be part of our decor. Arwen loved it and I think it is adorable, plus, so much fun!

How to do this craft

Use whatever paper you want, dip one finger into the orange paint, and then on to the paper.  Let the paint dry, and draw green vines and leaves over each orange circle (our blobs), then you have a fun fall craft 🙂

Arwen The Independent One

Untitled design (3)

 

Arwen the wonderful, sweet, sassy girl. If I am going to be real open, this season has been the hardest so far, but at the same time one of the best. It’s hard because she is making it clear that she is her own person, and she can do EVERYTHING on her own. I hate to tell her, but she is really just a tiny version of me, but she will learn that with time.
It’s also hard because not only does she think she can do everything on her own, she fights us on everything. When I say hard, I just mean tiring, because everything is a learning lesson, for both her and us. Really I guess that is just parenting.
It is also one of the best seasons, because she thinks she can do everything, so we get to watch her try, and a lot of times do new things and succeed, while other times she learns she still needs help and it is humbling for both of us. I mean we are preparing her to be an adult so she needs to learn, and I’m glad we get to watch her try. She is so independent and although we are tired, we see the wonderful leadership qualities she has, like how she has confidence in herself, and probably more than I have even now. I love seeing her grow, watching her try and succeed and learn from her failures, and encouraging her not to give up.

With all that said, the one area that we pretty much let her have full reign in (unless she has school, since princess dresses are frowned upon I’m sure), is we let her dress herself and we let her take control of that. It is so much fun. I actually just got back from a meeting where she got to come with me and did she have a regular dress on? Nope, she had a Belle ball gown on. That thing is a pain when you are trying to buckle a carseat…FYI. When we go to church she is constantly in something bold and awesome. This past weekend we had our Family Service, which means the kids get to be in service with us. Arwen was up front dancing with her best friend during worship and got to help her god father with doing a demonstration during his teaching. Now, we didn’t actually know when we came to church she would be doing any of that, or we may have encouraged her to wear something less flashy, but none the less, Arwen was princes Elena for the evening.

This just doesn’t seem like a battle worth fighting and I think it is wonderful to allow her to show her independence and personality through her clothes. In all honesty, I kind of want to dress up too from time to time and maybe I will. I just don’t think people will feel it’s as cute.

This is a hard season, but like I said a wonderful one, and I so enjoy watching her grow and become her own person. Even when she is in her princess outfits, if you call her by the princess name she will correct you and say “No, I’m Arwen and I am just dressed up like . . . ” I love that even with a costume on she is still her and she knows who she is. I pray we can encourage that more and more as she grows.

What where somethings you “let go of” so your kids could show their independence?

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New Feature About Moms I Love…Coming Soon!

Being a mother is about learning about

 

Starting very soon, I am going to be featuring a mom that I personally look up to and feel deserves for the world (or those who read my blog) to know about!
I have found myself looking up to moms and “taking” notes on how they raise their kids since I was in high school, not because I wanted to be a mom, but because I was curious. My up bringing was definitely not traditional and there were lots of things that happened to me or around me that no kid should experience. At age 14 I was placed in foster care and separated from my mom.  It was a tough season, but I am so thankful for where I am today after going through all of that and now that I am a mom, I still love looking at moms and watching them. Not in a creepy way (well maybe, but not on purpose), and not to judge, but to learn and be encouraged, or, I hope, even an encouragement to other moms.
I have an awesome husband and getting married was something I never envisioned for myself. Once I meet Chris, getting married was the best and easiest choice of my life.  Now, becoming a mom was not so easy.  I didn’t really know if I wanted to be a mom.  I just felt clueless and very scared, which any mom does.  After seven years of marriage and through so much healing, I MEANS SO MUCH, I felt like I could be a mom, and that was also one of the best choices of my life, because I can’t imagine our life without Arwen in it.  As soon as she came into the world if felt like our life started.
Because of growing up without a lot of great examples of parenting, there were so many things that I felt scared about, on top of normal first mom fears.  There have been fears and anxieties of things I didn’t realize would emotionally come up. Things like when I am in the bathroom and shut the door for privacy for 2 minutes, and Arwen is sobbing “I need you, I don’t want to be alone.” I have to fight tears, because I would say the same exact thing, but for some darker reasons.  I have to fight myself and remind myself, asking for privacy while I use the restroom is not bad. So, I looked, and still look to other moms for guidance, and I am so thankful for the moms and people I have in my life.  Even my own mom, with our relationship being mended, has taught me a lot as Arwen grows.  So with all of that said, I am excited to start featuring moms who have brought joy to my life, and hopefully will to yours, by getting to “know” them.
Are there people who you have looked up to while trying to do this thing called parenting?

Just Like That, I am Back!

I'm Back!

I am so excited to be back in the blogging world! I was just going to start posting blogs again without addressing the fact that I have been MIA for about a year, but I am not one to run from pointing out the obvious or the awkward, so here we are.
Most people may have not noticed, but since it’s something that has been nagging in my brain, I thought lets just address it, and get back into doing what I love so much….talking about life, hopefully bringing humor, and now that my daughter can talk, and really just speak novels, I will be adding a ton more Arwenisms, because to me she is hilarious.
Why did I stop and why did I stop for so long?
To simply answer the questions, the questions I posted myself and no one is really asking but me… well, life happened. At one point I was working three jobs, and I was tired, and a bit lazy when it came to writing. I am a stay at home mom, which I love, but it has become harder over the years since Arwen and I seem to be the same person. I wasn’t looking for a job out of the house, but last December my husband and I went to a bier garden on our date, and I just felt like I needed to work there and then I did for about 7 months, but sadly the restaurant didn’t make it and we were all laid off. I feel like the whole first part of this paragraph was the start of a good story and then it just went down hill, sorry about that.
Much more yet to come on all of the in between details in a different post. It was truly such a fun experience, and I am so happy I had the opportunity to work there.
With all this said. I’m BACK!